The Grammys: Flashing lights, loud music, and dreams
Whenever I come home from UCLA on the weekends, I pass by the Staples Center and the Nokia Theater. I always have one thing on my mind when I see these buildings, and that is the Grammys. For quite a few years, the highest honor for commercial musicians has taken place in these buildings (mostly the Staples Center, but some festivities do occur in the Nokia Theater). I always imagine, and it may sound silly, what it would be like to go to those awards as a nominee. I know that there are some issues with the selection process (commercial success over critical success), but I still believe it would be a dream to be there amongst the great ones. To look down one aisle and see U2, then to look another way and see Paul McCartney, and then again to see Stevie Wonder, it sounds pretty amazing. The Grammys are our Academy Awards, and to be recognized by my peers as worthy of such an honor would be awesome. I am not one of those people who has to have everyone like me (OK, maybe not totally true), but there is something that would feel validated that others feel something with my music. I may not be the most marketable of people musically, but nevertheless I make the music I want to make. No matter what my first intention is always to make music that is of the purest form of my imagination.
What are we without dreams? Human beings are first and foremost creative, constant factories of dreams and desires. My desire to be amongst the musical influences of so many, for just a moment, is a manifestation of my imagination. It is really hard to explain this without sounding like I want attention, or I have some deep psychological need for recognition. Really what it boils down to is my desire to contribute on an official level to the music industry. Where it stands at the moment, I am a musical free agent, a chameleon. While my unpredictability is a good thing, sometimes I feel like I am still getting lost in the crowd. I want to know that my music is resonating with people, and to have a greater platform to do so. It isn’t about the red carpet, the flash of the cameras, or even the award itself, but being at the Grammys.
Simply being there.
To know that I am a part of the massively expansive community of musicians and composers that make music possible is what I desire. I desire for my music to be available for everyone. I have a lot to say, and a lot of people to say it to. Music is a huge party where everyone is invited, and I want to throw a huge party for you guys. Will I ever be nominated for a Grammy, or even be invited? Probably not, but hey, it keeps me motivated (in some measure) to write the best music I can. I’ve been given a certain set of materials that I choose to create a specific art with. I can’t do any more than what I can do, and that is enough. Perhaps I shouldn’t have posted this, lest you think I am shallow and all about awards, but I wanted to let you into my head a little more. Sometimes I wonder if you guys understand me enough, so here I am attempting (in a very rambling way) to explain myself. Maybe I don’t need explanation, but I think we all want it at some point.